evolitionist.com

in the time of jesus, children were the vulgar dis-contributors to society. they had nothing to add in terms of value. not until they got older. the rest of society approached children as property. they were the vulgar mannequins that were nothing more than objects to impose upon. through the lense of the patriarchal eye, they had no innocence because they weren’t ‘human’. its very similar to how (today) some treat the homeless population as sub-human and unable to contribute anything of value to society. so from the patriarchal view the children had no innocence, because they were nothing more than cotton candy. remember that, something that looked good but really did more damage than good. i think there ancient status in society has much to teach us about innoncence and losing it.

to truly rediscover our own innocence we must appear to have lost it.

to truly embrace our innocence we have to deny it.

what do i mean by innocence? do i mean naivete? do i mean ignorance?

i think when i enter into the word innocence i am speaking of a realistic hopeful naivete. realistic in the sense that we are aware of the way things are. hopeful in dreaming and perpetuating hope in all of its forms, including promoting heaven on earth (this may be termed differently in other religions). the naivete is the willingness to see the world anew everyday. that like children we are willing to embrace new as new. that we are willing to re-discover our innocence. that we are willing to believe in the impossible. that we are willing to be inquisitive during the process of re-discovering our innocence. innocence tends to be defined as something that can be taken from us, as if a helpless victim. innocence is something we choose to sacrifice. sometimes people respond to children going through many ‘adult’ situations as saying, ‘they are growing up too fast‘ – thus assuming that their innocence is taken away from them. the assumption is that there are too many atrocious things out there for children to experience, and then assuming that when they are ‘old enough’ or of a particular age (socially defined) than they can ‘handle’ the atrocious event. which is not true in war-torn countries, this doesn’t make war or the violence of it okay, it is merely an example. innocence in that regard isn’t innocence, its innocence socially defined and constructed.

it is innocence as those who are influential in society define innocence to be. it is a bourgeois innocence. in this social sense of innocence, innocence than becomes a control tactic for the media, for the families, for the churches, for the institutions that desire to endorse their own agenda. and thats the thing, when we do that, we pervert innocence of its own innocence. so for some parents, preserving a child’s innocence might mean not watching horror films until they’re ‘old enough’ and thus innocence than becomes a developmental tool for parental control. again, this isn’t to say that that isn’t a bad thing to discourage, but it is to show the problem with defining innocence within a certain structure. we might need a post-structural approach to innocence that provides for space for innocence to re-discover itself.

we strip the inherent naivete of innocence.

this does not mean that if we take a different approach to innocence that is different to the conventional understanding that we are sadists or we are condoning child abuse. i am demonstrating that to truly understand innocence and experience it, we have to deny it. that to truly be embedded with the evidence of an innocent life we must consistently be in deconstruction of ours, societies, churches and the dictionaries understanding of innocence. its when we deny innocence than do we become innocent.

jesus essentially says we must embrace very thing we deny.

that we must accept the very thing (children, a representative of innocence) we inherently push away. so firstly, we must deny the very things that innocence truly stands for to accept it. and then we must accept the very thing we deny. it is possible to live in a world that embraces its own naivete. where we began embracing one another for our diversity rather than demonizing it. where we listen to one another rather than shout, because we believe everyone has something valuable to say/give. where we deny the very things that might keep us from this realistic hopeful naivete. we need to rekindle the dreams, proclaim the impossible, work together, and see that the world can be better. and it starts by re-discovering our own innocence.

Ultimate Reconciliation

In this, the second part of a two-part podcast, Pastor Neil Christopher and Pastor Nar continue their discussion on Universal Reconciliation. Neil also introduces the new ministry God has placed on his heart: EVO Youth Network. Pastor Nar has been invited to be part of the Visionary Board of this exciting new ministry.

Visit Losing My Religion for the streaming or downloadable versions of this podcast:

Part Two:

• Visit main podcast page
• Listen on iTunes
• Download as MP3 (off their server)
• Download as MP3 (off this server)

I have always been a bit of a punk, but my sister tortured me with so many years of Air Supply every time she fell in love or broke-up with somebody that it just became the standard for me. Now it’s my turn. Consider it one of my guilty pleasures. You know who you are. Enjoy!

I remember this one time when I was in seminary, during a psychology class, we were all asked to take the Myers-Briggs personality test. I wound up being the only person in my class who scored as an INFP (introversion, intuition, feeling, perception – or the “Healer”), and when I told my mom about the personality test results, and how I was the only INFP in my class, my mom assured me that maybe if next time I tried a little harder I would score better and be in the higher percentile with the rest of the class.

At first I thought her comment was kind of funny and I explained to her that it isn’t like you can fail a personality test – I assumed she just didn’t understand what the Myers-Briggs was all about. Whether she got it or not, things started to get less and less funny as she began asking me why I felt the need to answer all my questions differently than the other students; why can’t I just try harder to be more normal and fit in, and why can’t I see that life would just be easier for me if I kept my head down and just went with the crowd.

Don’t worry though; I think the story is funny again now.

But at the time I was pretty upset over these comments, because I had realized that my whole life I had been made to feel that way. Made to feel like there was something wrong to being “me”, and that being more like someone else would make my life a better one. So the purpose of my life, of my existence, is to be as much unlike myself as possible and that is supposed to make me feel happy and fulfilled? How does that make any sense? Now I know my mom and my dad, and I know that they love me and always just wanted what was best for me. I do not believe that they were being malicious; I truly believe that they just knew how hard this life can be and wanted their child to fit in as much as possible because they know that life for an individual… for one who stands out… who goes against the stream… is difficult.

I know that now, but back then I just thought they didn’t like me.

For a long time, I didn’t think that God liked me very much either – that God also rejected the individual.

It’s been a long journey to get over a lot of those negative ideas that were so ingrained in me; I can’t remember the exact moment when God started working on healing this part of my psyche, but I do remember the time where I stood up, had a revelation, and started to act on it.

I was a youth group leader, working under a youth pastor who believed that all good Christian boys should wear kakis, play football, and have buzz-cuts. I didn’t really fit his mold, but he had a lot of “alternative” youth coming to his church and he saw my presence there as a necessary evil. And yes, I was actually told that by him.

Anyway, one night in youth group he started going over all the different names of God in the Bible – story after story of individuals who had their own unique encounter with God and who gave God their own unique names. All unique names, all unique attributes or understanding of who God is, but all collected together here in this Bible as different names and personalities of One God.

For one person, God was simply present; for another, a healer; the provider; peace; and even very personal, specific names, like “The one who healed my eyes.” The list goes on and on. All different names, all different individuals, but all the same God.

I had a revelation that night.

When it was time for us to all break up into our small groups I stood and looked at my motley crew of Sr. High students and smiled. I spoke with fervor, love and conviction… and maybe even with a slight bit of water in my eyes and I asked them all if God was so small that He/She was done being named.

Have we covered all the bases? Are the ones listed here on this projector screen or in this Bible the entire definition of who God is? Or is God infinite; living; still moving and breathing – impossible to nail down? What is to stop us all from each having our own individual experiences with God and naming Him/Her as well?

Life may be hard for the individual, but it is the individual who gets to name God. No one in the crowd ever did.

What is God’s name to you?

The God Who Healed Me of Cancer; The Source of Art & Expression; The Mother of Nature; The One Who Laughs; He Who Delivered Me from Drugs; or She Who Loves Me as I Am?

Those are just a few. Please don’t worry if yours is not listed; for I believe the list is endless and you are free to add your own.

As a side note, I read today that my perfect partner would be an ENFP. Go figure?!

Owning His Personal Relationship with God

In this, the first part of a two-part podcast, Pastor Neil Christopher briefly shares his story and then he and Pastor Nar begin a discussion on mysticism, ecstatic utterances, Gnostic Christianity, and go head-on into one of the most widely debated topics in Christian theology: Ultimate Reconciliation.

Visit Losing My Religion for the streaming or downloadable versions of this podcast:

Part One:

• Visit main podcast page
• Listen on iTunes
• Download as MP3 (off their server)
• Download as MP3 (off this server)

Part Two: Will be available later on this week!

Based on the research of Faith Factors — http://www.faithfactors.com

When I was first told about a 10 year study on what common factors there were between different youth programs, across different denominations, leading to “successful youth ministry” my first thought was “This is going to be a load of crap.” Because how do we define “success” anyway?

Success for most would be defined by numbers – how insanely large is your youth program? But what kind of adults is it producing? Some may define it by conversions, but how many stay involved in a faith community or keep their faith through college and through their adulthood? Besides, in a game like that only the biggest church on the block wins – one that is in the right neighborhood, has the biggest budget, the most dynamic personality on stage, the coolest youth band – not to mention some projection screens, fog machines, some laser lights… and it always helps if you are in the Bible Belt.

None of that interests me in the least — for one adult, impacting the life of one child, in such a way that they become a well developed follower of Christ is a successful minister to me. Hell, even impacting their life to the point that you help them become just well developed is enough to make me raise my glass to you.

However, I was pleased to find out that for this study “success” was simply defined as youth who keep their faith and stay involved in a faith community into their adulthood. That’s it. Not size, not popularity, not money or notoriety – just plain ‘ol “they stuck around and are doing OK.”

I am going to paraphrase a bit to get the Christianese out. I don’t even understand what Christians are saying half the time and I am one. Anyway, you some of youth pastors out there may be surprised, for so little of this has to do with you, or that multimedia presentation you just “need”:

1. They had people of faith in their family that they could look up to.
2. They had a mentor in their life outside of their family.
3. They were encouraged to get out and do service projects, missions, work in a homeless shelter or some kind of humanitarian or environmental cause.
4. Even as youth, their church got them involved in leading, doing worship, and helping out.
5. Even in adult services they could tell that youth was valued and a priority of the church.
6. They came from good Sr. High programs that transitioned them into young adult programs.
7. They had friends their own age that encouraged their faith.
8. There came a time when they had a personal crisis, or royally messed up, and the church was still there for them in love.

About Faith Factors:

“FaithFactors.com is the web home for a group of educators who are interested in studying the faith lives of youth and young adults. This group includes Luther Seminary in St. Paul, Minnesota, Southwestern Baptist Seminary in Fort Worth, Texas and several key leaders in the Roman Catholic Church. The guiding direction of this sight comes from a desire to understand faith growth and development in our youth and young adult people… A complete list of the documents surrounding this effort are found on the Papers page.”

Top 10 things I can do in this “Boundaries” seminar I have to attend that will make it more fun…

1. Arrive first; stand at the door, and greet everyone with a long hug.
2. Stand way too close and talk way too close to everybody.
3. Make advances on the instructor all the day.
4. If anyone talks to me always follow up by asking “are you trying to hit on me?”
5. Give everyone there my personal number.
6. Ask everyone there for their personal number so we can get closer.
7. Wear that sexy outfit of mine I was saving… Now is THAT time!
8. Keep asking if we could do some role-playing so I can get the point/topic better.
9. Show up with a date and make out in the back.
10. Make constant use of the phrase “That’s what she said!” during the presentation.

Have any of your own suggestions? Feel free to comment below.

Just a couple days ago, after feeling quite alone as a youth-focused minister in the whole missional/emergent/emerging conversation, I made quick tweet from my twitter account and simply asked if there were others out there doing what I do; facing some of the same frustrations, successes & failures, who would maybe like to get together and simply see what happens.

I found out I wasn’t alone — not in the least. Within hours I had received over 30 inquiries from different faith communities from all over the United States who said that had been looking for and hoping that a conversation like this would take place. We all acknowledge that there have been a growing number of networks for churches like ours pertaining to adult ministry, but little concerning either youth based ministries; or, even more uncommon, for existing missional churches that have youth as well, wanting to address their journey/needs/vision/etc too.

I am sure that this leaves us all wondering: Who all is involved? When and where is it going to be? And what the heck are we going to do there?

Like most of what we do this network too is a discussion. We intend for it to be fluid, and hope it evolves. I am it’s head organizer, but not its guru. We hope that everyone is involved. One of the first things we want to do is set up an inclusive “board” or visioning group to start talking about what this thing should be and what it should NOT be. After speaking with Connie Waters (conniejoh2o) the other day it became apparent that if we do anything we must make sure that it addresses faith communities without youth programs or youth pastors since many of us are without these resources but still have a heart for kids. In speaking today with Mark Riddle (riddlegroup) I understood the importance of not making this some kind of training/teaching event where certain leaders come in to tell others “5 tricks to having a great emerging youth group” or anything like that. We believe that God has given us and you EVERYTHING you already need to reach the people that you are called to reach, and there is no set way to do it. What we do want to do though is empower and encourage each other, share worries and joys, learn from each other’s successes and failures, and start networking with one another.

Please join the discussion on the network and be a part of the initial visioning and board by visiting the forums here: http://www.evoyouth.com/bbpress

We have also registered the hashtag #evoyouth with Twubs for this event. So if you are on Twitter and use this hashtag for the event it can be easily followed.

For general inquiries and information we have set up the email address info@evoyouth.com and the website www.evoyouth.com.

As of now the proposed date for this first event is early 2011 in Dallas, Texas. Depending on your involvement and feedback however this is open to change.

Thank you all very much, and we look forward to hearing more from you all about this. May God bless you all!

Why don’t we all just try this one time? Walk up to a total stranger of the opposite sex… oh wait, those days are over thank God… OK, just walk up to anyone you find attractive and don’t really know at all and ask them if they would like to be in an intimate, personal, relationship with you. Just see how that goes.

Results may vary, and can range from a dirty look to a beverage being tossed in your face, but all in all I can pretty much assure you that it won’t be positive. Actually, that only worked for me once – and that girl was crazy! But that is another story for another day.

The point is, unless you are a totally socially inept human being you pretty much know that is not how you interact with another person – especially one that you are trying to “hit it off” with. You talk to the person, get to know them, and maybe even become friends first; you do things together, hang out, and get involved in their lives some; maybe you start off with exchanging emails or facebooks before phone numbers, and asking them out for a cup of coffee is always a nice start.

But where did we get the idea that it is acceptable to pimp Jesus out to others like he’s our desperate single friend who we just got to hook up? It’s almost like we are out there trying to get the poor guy a pity-date. So you ask me do I want to be involved in an intimate, personal, relationship with your Jesus? Well tell this Jesus guy to slow down a bit and maybe try asking me out for a cup of coffee first, or maybe even dinner and a movie. You know… woo me a bit for Christ’s sake.

And what exactly is a “personal relationship with Christ” anyway? Try looking it up online – people’s definitions are all over the map on that one. However, one thing that seems to be consistent is the condescending notion that if you are asking someone this question you figure that you have something that they sure as hell don’t.

In the denomination that I was raised in (Assemblies of God) this catchphrase was code for “have you said a personal prayer to ask Jesus Christ into your heart to be your Lord and Savior?” If we all are going to be honest here you would admit that it probably means the same thing in your Baptist, Non-Denomination or other church as well.

That was part of the reason why I got offended on behalf of my youth group during their Week of Hope missions trip – because they kept on being asked that question, and I know full from my past experience as an “evangelical” youth leader and then pastor that most of these guys believe that Catholics, Lutherans and other-like Christians are not really “saved”.

But that is a different point for a different day as well.

The point of this article is more simple — woo me a bit for Christ’s sake. For Christ’s sake.

Get to know people, and focus more on including them in your lives instead of converting them. Bring them into your faith communities, become their friends, their real friends – none of that “friendship evangelism” nonsense, because that is a false friendship with an agenda, and Christ loved without agenda.

Love people this way and you may soon find that they want to know more about your friend Jesus. Love people this way and you may even find out that He was already in their lives to begin with, but that you only served to help them see it – or maybe it was you that never saw it.

Last week I had the pleasure of taking 9 of my Jr. High students on a servant based “mission” trip to Austin Texas with Week of Hope. Group Workcamps is a pretty cool organization, so if you are looking for something for your Jr. or Sr. High students to get involved in I’ll tell you right now that I recommend it.

Here are a few tips for other youth pastors or leaders out there about to take off on a trip like this with their kids, from my own personal experience:

1. You are no longer on your special diet, a vegan or a vegetarian, for youth camp or missions trips. Give up and eat that pizza or burger. There will be pizza and many trips to McDonalds. In fact, there are few problems that cannot be solved by sneaking off with a troubled kid for a moment to either Starbucks or McDonalds. Trust me.
2. Now is not the time to make them listen to all the “cool” music you liked when you were their age. Listen to theirs on the trip. They seriously don’t give a rip – no matter how great you think favorite bands are. Look, if I can’t get mine to listen to The Descendents or Operation Ivy you sure are not going to get them to listen to your Bon Jovi or Poison.
3. If one of your kids is about to get yelled at by some other adult for saying ‘ass’ step up, take one for the team, and say something worse… and louder. Believe me; they will quickly forget all about what your kid just said. Point is – they are your kids, protect them, nobody messes with my kids… ever… but me.
4. If a kid starts to picks on you, and let’s just say… throws water at you, remember you are the adult here. Which means that you can easily hold them down and dump an entire cooler of pink lemonade on them.
5. The experience that the kids take home from this far outweighs the program or your agenda that was planned for them. If the program isn’t working screw the program. If your agenda isn’t working lose you agenda – be fluid. Kids get talked at way too much. Sometimes it got pretty intense and they needed breaks, and other times you need to change the message or purpose of that time to suit the needs of your kids better.

That last one is a pretty good segue into my next topic.

My kids and I loved the trip. We want to go back next year. I recommend others to use the program, but I am going to discuss a couple things that we found troublesome with the program as well but only because I believe that it may help or encourage some people.

Let’s start off with the “Pros” of the experience:

• The two staff leaders there were awesome and all the kids loved them. It was a joint camp and so we had 5 different churches there and I don’t think all the leaders gave these two leaders enough credit or slack. They worked their butts off. I can’t praise them enough.
• It was good for my kids to interact with other youth (105 total) and to see that it isn’t just them – that they are not alone in their own Christian bubble. It was also good for them to intact with other denominations and see that there are other ways to express their love of God or do things… and that it is OK to do so.
• The missions camp is a “workcamp”, and I was impressed that so many kids actually paid money to take a week and do labor to help other people. The projects were meaningful and worth supporting, and as ELCA Lutherans and part of the Emerging Church we appreciated that it was based on serving, or do-gooding, instead of typical “outeach” – and by that I mean bible banging, soap boxes, and proselytizing. One important thing I told my kids is this: We are not here to convert anybody; we are simply here to include them into our lives.
• It yielded results. Real results in the local community and in our faith community (my youth group).

OK, so to be fair, let’s go over some of the “Cons”:

• This one isn’t really a con but next year I would like to try going on a different date. You see, although we were only there for one week it is a seven week long camp where the teams take shifts in the project. This is a great way to do it since they can tackle harder projects and leave more of an impact, but by the time we arrived on the very last week they were running low and wrapping things up. To be fair, a group could have come in the beginning or middle and feel like they would have liked to come at the end to see things completed; my point is — I’d just like to try a different date to see if it is a different experience.
• This is the main one… although it was an “inter-denominational” camp there were a couple things there that were said or done that left my kids confused, even in tears at times, and we had to have many private conversations to “put out fires” over things that were clearly not as Emerging or ELCA friendly as we assumed.

Yes, that last point is yet another segue.

One of the lowest moments of the trip was having to listen to one of my kids in tears after experiencing an emotionally charged service that centered around Total Depravity, but it led to good conversation and turned out well. As a church we have chosen to teach our kids that they were made a good creation – we preach and teach Restoration Theology, and these kids have never heard up until now that they were so “bad”, “fallen”, and so undeserving. Teaching bad creation vs. good creation is not very interdenominational… it’s Calvinistic. I was sad that my kids were finally exposed to this, happy that it was so foreign of a concept to them, and at the same time glad that it happened here in a controlled situation where it could be talked about and addressed in a good way by our youth staff and myself.

Besides, I know this game — get the kids all emotional then go in for the kill. Know it? Heck, I was trained in how to do that by some of the best in the business. I’m just not going to do that any more, and I have seen where that kind of ministering actually leads. Instead of doing the follow-up devotional for that night I took all my kids to McDonalds and told them all how much God loves them just as they are. They learned that not all Christians think the same way that they do, and that some may even look down on them at times, but that they need to love and tolerate them anyway. We are all brothers and sisters in Christ regardless. I think they also gained a new appreciation for their church and in the way that they were being raised.

There were also some references over the week to a born-again salvation experience and I had to take time to explain to my kids, who have only been exposed to Grace, what the heck was going on. This also led to one of my favorite moments on the mission trip…

Part of the reason why we chose a missions trip where we give back to a community and work was because of our theology. Like I said before: “We are not here to convert anybody; we are simply here to include them into our lives.” However, others from different denominations saw things differently, and especially after one certain event my kids asked me what was going on with this whole salvation, hell, born again thing.

I took a moment to think my response over and then simply asked them two questions.

1. Who are God’s children?
2. When Christ died who did He save?

To the first question my kids said “everyone”. To the second question my kids said “everyone”.

I smiled, and was so proud of them at that moment, and so proud that they had been brought up in a church that was so entirely different than the ones I was exposed to as a youth.

I then explained to them that not all churches or Christians feel the same way they do about this matter. Part of me whishes they could have been spared that, but sooner or later they are bound to discover that not all Christians are like them, and there is a reason why so many people tend to hate Christianity these days.

I also took the time to explain that these other  leaders, churches, and their new friends were all good people with good intentions but that they just think differently than we do on a few things; that we are all still Christians, brothers and sister and that we all love God just as much as each other. I hope that their leaders would say the same thing about them to their kids.

I wonder what will happen next year if we bring some gay students and leaders. Will the allow them to come and serve? Will they be allowed to sleep in the same rooms as the other kids and run groups? Will they be allowed to hug and hold hands in the hallways like the rest of the students who were dating we able to without being told to not display affection publicly? I guess we will just have to wait for next year and see.

That’s about the end of this blog entry. This next part is totally superfluous. We had these “mailboxes” in camp where kids could leave us little messages all week long. I am horrible at saving things, so I figured I would save a few choice ones online here so I can remember and look back at them later.

Neil’s Mailbox:

1) You have pretty eyes. 2) I like your tattoos! They’re super duper cool! You have a facebook? 3) You have a great heart. 4) You’re and awesome youth minister! 5) You are super chill, and have a “just do it” attitude. I like it. 6) u r sooo fun to have as a youth pastor! I’m soooo glad u came, without u it would be “gasp”… different! 7) It was an honor to serve alongside you this week. It was a blessing to see how close you are with your students; they really look up to you. You have a servant’s heart, God blessed you with that. 8)You got sweet tats yo. 9) Neil, I too love the ramones and you are probably the coolest adult here. so nice to meet you, plus now I have some tattoo ideas. I want a unicorn riding on a human. 10) You’re a blast! Thanks for being such a cool guy & a great leader! 11) I like your super mario tattoo. 12) I like your tattoos and stuff. Oh, also you’re a cool dude. 13) You are a pretty cool youth minister. 14) You are so cool, nice and awesome. Thank you for taking us to McDonald’s and Starbucks. 15) Ur a cool youth pastor. 16) I’m glad I met you early this week. I felt like I could talk to someone here right off the bat. 17) I like your good attitude. 18) Thanks for being a great example to my students. Best of luck in your ministry — you have a great deal to offer to the youth!

By the way, my favorite is “Neil, I too love the ramones and you are probably the coolest adult here. so nice to meet you, plus now I have some tattoo ideas. I want a unicorn riding on a human.“ How could it not be?

Thanks for the kind note buddy! Glad to help give you that idea In fact, if you go through with it I’ll even chip in with you for the cost. lol